Life Lessons: to text or not to text that is the question

In the digital age there are almost an endless amount of ways to communicate with people Skype, Facebook, Twitter, texting, calling, FaceTime need I go on? We all have seen that movie or two or three where girls run to the phone checking for a dial tone because their guy hasn't called. It's funny and iconic because most of us have at some point been that girl. You're talking to a guy for a few weeks or maybe even a few months. Everything seems fine, you make each other laugh you connect and screeeeeech.... Tires squeal... We have radio silence.

 Day 1 you think he's just busy so you pop off a quick text "hope you're having a good day" no response. You are confused and annoyed. Every ding on your phone is like Chinese water torture because it's never him. Day 3 you are pissed, seriously is it that hard to say hi? But you refrain from texting because you don't want to be "that girl". Day 5 comes, now you're freaking out, "Did I do something?" "Is he okay?" You're first instinct is to text with a friendly "Hey hope you're alive over there". I strongly urge you to refrain from that because here is what comes next...

1.) he doesn't respond and you are convinced he's either dead or a huge jerk and your anger kicks in leading to more texting with crazy girl written all over it or 2.) he responds and it's likely something stupid like "no I'm dead" and you're like okay you're stupid. I HATE YOU. LITERALLY. DIE.

So where does this leave us? I am not a believer that women need to wait for the man to make the move.. blah blah blah but when it comes to this bizarre no mans land I strongly recommend refraining from reaching out. Because in the end it likely leaves us lonely and insecure. Also don't stop living your life because some jerk put you on the back burner. Have fun, laugh, and be happy. You're beautiful and amazing and said dude is a total lame ass for not being able to communicate with you. If he's over you he should be man enough to tell you. We are NOT cavemen.

I would love to hear from you my readers! Feel free to comment, share your stories and what you've learned! 

Happily Ever After: The One

 

I love romantic comedies, let's face it I am a girl who grew up on Disney, the idea of meeting the "one" has always been somewhere in my mind. As a culture we are completely obsessed with love. Songs, books and movies galore all focused on the same topic, yet somewhere along the way we've been led astray.

Through dating nightmares and relationships blowing up in my face I've come to learn a few things about that "happily ever after" thing. I want to use this series to share what I have learned and also share my mistakes and mishaps as they occur. I just moved to North Carolina, I am single and in my mid-20's, I feel the pressure to meet the "one" but I am beginning to wonder what that even means. I've seen women with checklists that won't date anyone unless they meet a certain criteria. Is that the trick to finding the one? Is dating like shopping for a car, should dating be a business transaction?

I am convinced the idea of the "one" has actually kept many women stuck in a cycle of constantly searching for more. I don't believe anyone will ever be "perfect" for me as perfect doesn't exist. I think this is the trap so many of us experience while searching for this mythological "one"... we are constantly looking for the next shiny object to come our way. This trap actually stops us from forming lasting relationships with people because we cannot remain present while wondering what else is out there.

If there is "one" what is the likelihood any of us will actually meet him or her? If we do settle for someone who isn't the "one" what happens if or when we meet that person? Do we just walk away from a life we started building with someone else? Looking for the one keeps us trapped in tiny boxes that actually limits the dating field for us.

How do you get beyond this? For starters don't say no to a date, just try something new. Go out, be in the moment, have fun! If you aren't compatible you don't have to see each other again but hell you get a great story and a night out! Second piece of advice: forget all you know of fairy tales... don't over analyze and just enjoy.

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”~ Oscar Wilde