I love romantic comedies, let's face it I am a girl who grew up on Disney, the idea of meeting the "one" has always been somewhere in my mind. As a culture we are completely obsessed with love. Songs, books and movies galore all focused on the same topic, yet somewhere along the way we've been led astray.
Through dating nightmares and relationships blowing up in my face I've come to learn a few things about that "happily ever after" thing. I want to use this series to share what I have learned and also share my mistakes and mishaps as they occur. I just moved to North Carolina, I am single and in my mid-20's, I feel the pressure to meet the "one" but I am beginning to wonder what that even means. I've seen women with checklists that won't date anyone unless they meet a certain criteria. Is that the trick to finding the one? Is dating like shopping for a car, should dating be a business transaction?
I am convinced the idea of the "one" has actually kept many women stuck in a cycle of constantly searching for more. I don't believe anyone will ever be "perfect" for me as perfect doesn't exist. I think this is the trap so many of us experience while searching for this mythological "one"... we are constantly looking for the next shiny object to come our way. This trap actually stops us from forming lasting relationships with people because we cannot remain present while wondering what else is out there.
If there is "one" what is the likelihood any of us will actually meet him or her? If we do settle for someone who isn't the "one" what happens if or when we meet that person? Do we just walk away from a life we started building with someone else? Looking for the one keeps us trapped in tiny boxes that actually limits the dating field for us.
How do you get beyond this? For starters don't say no to a date, just try something new. Go out, be in the moment, have fun! If you aren't compatible you don't have to see each other again but hell you get a great story and a night out! Second piece of advice: forget all you know of fairy tales... don't over analyze and just enjoy.
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”~ Oscar Wilde
I don't believe in "the one". I actually think it's much less depressing to NOT believe in the love. Like you said, what is the likelihood we will be meet that one person?
ReplyDeleteI'm only 21 now. I met my boyfriend when I was 17. I was going on a double date with a friend as a favor, our blind date didn't go so well, and even after we started dating a while I just wasn't ready to think about forever. But now after four years (while we're not close to getting married) I know that I have found the man I want to grow old with.
He's not perfect, he's not rich and he makes it his personal mission to annoy me, but I would pick him over anyone (including Jake Gyllenhaal). I didn't think he was my type, but he just...fits.
So yes, never say no to a date because I found my love because I owed a friend a favor!
-Nikki
http://nikkidee101.blogspot.com
*not believe in the one *what is the likelihood we will meet...
DeleteOkay, sorry for the rambling comment and other errors I'm probably missing.
Thank you so much for your response! I am glad you liked the post and love your story! Further proof you just never know how you will connect with someone! Thanks Nikki!
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